Jesus

Church has been really great the last 2 weeks, leaving me feeling like I need to blog and write it all down. Then I get home and it's just not there. So here goes nothing.

This week he jumped into Romans 8:12-13. We'll be here 2 weeks in a row. I truly enjoy how Pastor Tim can divulge 2 verses and pull them apart to the point where it takes 2 weeks to get through. These 2 verses talk about killing sin. That was today's title. He was completely passionate about the fact that where our country is with evil and violence is in direct relation to the fact that the majority of us do NOT kill sin in our lives. We let it hang out and reason with us about staying right where it's at. Sin should not be at home in our lives. He likened sin to cancer. Do we have mercy on cancer? Not one bit. Sin should be seen the exact same way; show no mercy and get it out. Unfortunately with cancer there is no cure. With sin, we have Jesus. We have the Holy Spirit. We have all the tools we need in order to be successful in getting sin out of our lives. And yet we reason with sin, and we reason with Jesus. Can't I let you be in control of everything except for this one little bit of sin that I really like having around and holding onto? That's not how it works. Kick it out and don't let it return.

More and more I'm learning this is not an easy process, for anyone. We all have our sins that we're dealing with. No one is perfect. I know I have tendencies to get it rid of sin in certain ways and those aren't always correct either. I need Jesus. Straight-up. Nothing else is going to cure this cancer I have. And it doesn't feel good; just like chemo and radiation don't feel good. But when it works, you do whatever it takes to get healthy right? Really good word. Great reminder of truth.

I wrote last time about LA not being home. That's a continual process for me. Sometimes I feel like it's getting better and then something happens that makes me miss everything and everyone else in my life. I think part of it is the sheer process of transition and finding new friends. We have great people in our small group and at church and others we've met through work, don't get me wrong. In talking about getting sin out at church today Tim also talked about the need to have people in our lives to help with this process. I know I have spoken some harsh truths to close friends in the recent months and I'm thankful that they've accepted it for what it was and took it in the love I was hoping to give. That's part of being friends that I love. And maybe that's something I haven't completely found here yet. Partly I don't know that I've opened up completely to people yet and really let them speak into my life like that, and partly I'm not sure if I've found those people here.... yet. I anticipate they're all around me. I have also been amazed at the busy-ness of people's lives here. We're all trying to make, working towards something and spending all our time doing it. There's very little down-time and it's super hard to actually spend quality time with people. I met a friend at work a couple months ago and we've gotten together for dinner once. We haven't been able to since b/c our schedules clash so much. I miss the regularity of my teaching job. There was so much in my life that was comfortable simply b/c I was teaching. That's probably part of all this change in my life and realizing the differences of being here.

All this to say - kill sin, and love people. I love people and I love giving. I am also relearning some boundaries in my giving though b/c I can easily give too much and be completely spent on one person. That's not healthy. So much learning. Not much time to spend learning it. And working on living it. Working on just being and enjoying life for all it is here. So many many amazing people here.

PS though. I miss and love every single person in my life that I'm not seeing and talking to on a regular basis. That means those of you in IN, in FL, around the world, and spread across this beautiful country. With the sermon today I was just reminded of the goodness and joy of friends who have spoken into my life about things that need to change, with love. Thank you for loving me enough to want what's best, even when it's hard to say.