Thursday, July 22, 2010

Four weeks

Tomorrow will be four weeks on one paycheck. I'm praising God that He has sustained us this far. I'm praising God that my faith has (mostly) lasted this long. Usually I'm the one who breaks down and has fears and questions. I've been able to hold on this time and work on my trust. It's a daily choice.

I'm working on applying everywhere I can. The problem is simply that I don't get paid during the summer b/c I'm not contracted like a classroom teacher is. I'm hourly. So there's potential that I have a job in the fall. I'm planning on that actually, even though I haven't actually heard if the contract with the school has been signed or not. Huh. Things that make you go, hmmmmm. Definitely. So I'm starting to wonder about asking my boss for unemployment. All the "normal" retail places you think of for summer work (ie. Target, Barnes, Starbucks...) aren't hiring. I've looked into temp agencies and haven't heard back. I've looked at hotels, things outside of my degree. I've checked Craigslist and nanny agencies and applied to more than I can count. And yet.... I sit.

We have 2 more months to get through before school starts. The Lord provided an excess in June. No idea how it worked out but there was enough for what was needed and enough for some extra that happened b/c of the move across town. And this month; one paycheck and still the bills are getting paid. Thanks in part to my dear friend who felt called to help. Again, it makes no sense what-so-ever, specifically on paper. We're not going hungry. We're not doing much that costs money. And we're still believing.

I feel a little like the widow in 2 Kings 4:1-7. The more jars the woman had the more oil she had. It just continued to pour out. Where did it come from? It stopped flowing when there were no more jars to fill. I have a note in my Bible, from a sermon at some point, stating that when there were no more jars, they limited God's power. This story has come to my mind in the past few days. It makes me think about how long I'm willing to trust that God has something, how long am I willing to wait on His timing and trust His provision even when it's not possible on paper? How long am I willing to trust in my God who is able to do the impossible? I guess it's made me question myself and our situation. She trusted what the wise man said to be true and was provided for. Am I able willing to keep trusting? Granted, I don't feel like I have lots of options at this point. So I'm waiting for that oil to keep pouring out, hoping that I have more jars to fill it with, and praying that the oil keeps flowing.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Summer...

is about believing
is about sunshine and basking in His glory
is about promises fulfilled
is about waiting on Him
is about friendship - old and new
is about time together
is about family
is about forging ahead into what continues to be the unknown

Summer is about believing.