Merry-go-round

One of the biggest things I'm learning with grief is that it's not a journey that goes in a straight line. Grief weaves in and out of your life, bringing memories when you least expect it. The best way I've heard grief explained is like a merry-go-round. You never know where the ride is going to stop.

If you're walking with someone through grief, give them space to share. Care about the words they say, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I won't promise you it's fun, but being there for someone as they grieve makes you a pretty amazing person because it's not something that very many people do.

For me, I know people care when they listen when I'm real, and don't just move on through my answer without acknowledging what I've said. I know people care when they tell me they think of Jonathan, or they remember what would have been his due date. I know people care when they join me in my memories and recognize that this journey isn't over. We received a balloon and a card for Christmas from a woman who has a website because she lost a child. I don't know how she got our name, and it was hard to receive at first because I hadn't been thinking about Jonathan and what his one year birthday would look like, but I'm thankful for it now. I'm thankful that someone was remembering him, us, and our story.

I'm sure grief looks different for everyone, and it's not something I expect everyone I know to walk with me through. I simply encourage you to be gentle with those who have lost someone. Find out from them what they need, and how you can continue to care for them. I appreciate the people who help me laugh every day, and am thankful that it's some of those same people who provide space for me to be real.

One day at a time, one day at a time.