The silver lining

I'm looking for it. Some days are easier than others.

I chose my emotions this week. It amazes me sometimes how I work. How I can be fine at work, enjoying my classes and being around students and teaching, and then get home and fall apart and have my "good" attitude completely disipate. I was a goober this week and had to apologize to Danny for it. It wasn't helpful to anyone.

We're suffering through life right now. It's not fun, but that's the reality. I'm also realizing that we're being tested. I think I'd rather focus on the testing and see what God has in store than the suffering. Granted, we're promised suffering, we're promised trials. Jesus went through them. We will too. It doesn't make them easier, but makes them more worth it. With testing though, I've been reminded that faith needs to be exercised just like our bodies do. If we don't exercise our bodies, they become lumps of fat and we become lazy and unmotivated. Our faith takes the same dive when we don't exercise it. I really don't want a faith that has atrophied from lack of use. So I'm claiming the promises that the testing of our faith produces endurance (James 1:2-4).

Honestly, life is about Jesus. That's the true silver lining. We like to claim Jeremiah 29:11, that God has plans to prosper us. But verse 12 and 13 go on to talk about how when we pray, He will listen, and when we seek Him with our whole heart, we'll find Him. It's about the process. He wants us to know Him. He is the goal, nothing else. He is the best. Obeying Him is better than whatever we have today. Do we love Him more? I didn't this week. I stayed in my emotional mess that got me nowhere.

I have no control over our lives. I have no control over the details of our finances. I can do everything in my power, or I can rely on the power of God through the Holy Spirit. I can focus my energies on living how I think I should, or I can focus my energies on knowing the Father and trusting in His power. He's provided for 16 months of L.A. and countless more before that. I have to give up my ideas about the details and know Him.

The great part? His word is Truth. He is my Rock, my Salvation, my ever-present help in time of trouble. He has provided a group of amazing friends in our lives to support and love us through this time. He knows the plans, which means working out the details is His problem, which means I don't need to worry about them. Working on walking in Truth this week. I know I sound like a broken record. I wish I didn't. But I'm praying that God is glorified through the journey, and if He is, then it's worth it. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less (John 3:30).