Four weeks

Tomorrow will be four weeks on one paycheck. I'm praising God that He has sustained us this far. I'm praising God that my faith has (mostly) lasted this long. Usually I'm the one who breaks down and has fears and questions. I've been able to hold on this time and work on my trust. It's a daily choice.

I'm working on applying everywhere I can. The problem is simply that I don't get paid during the summer b/c I'm not contracted like a classroom teacher is. I'm hourly. So there's potential that I have a job in the fall. I'm planning on that actually, even though I haven't actually heard if the contract with the school has been signed or not. Huh. Things that make you go, hmmmmm. Definitely. So I'm starting to wonder about asking my boss for unemployment. All the "normal" retail places you think of for summer work (ie. Target, Barnes, Starbucks...) aren't hiring. I've looked into temp agencies and haven't heard back. I've looked at hotels, things outside of my degree. I've checked Craigslist and nanny agencies and applied to more than I can count. And yet.... I sit.

We have 2 more months to get through before school starts. The Lord provided an excess in June. No idea how it worked out but there was enough for what was needed and enough for some extra that happened b/c of the move across town. And this month; one paycheck and still the bills are getting paid. Thanks in part to my dear friend who felt called to help. Again, it makes no sense what-so-ever, specifically on paper. We're not going hungry. We're not doing much that costs money. And we're still believing.

I feel a little like the widow in 2 Kings 4:1-7. The more jars the woman had the more oil she had. It just continued to pour out. Where did it come from? It stopped flowing when there were no more jars to fill. I have a note in my Bible, from a sermon at some point, stating that when there were no more jars, they limited God's power. This story has come to my mind in the past few days. It makes me think about how long I'm willing to trust that God has something, how long am I willing to wait on His timing and trust His provision even when it's not possible on paper? How long am I willing to trust in my God who is able to do the impossible? I guess it's made me question myself and our situation. She trusted what the wise man said to be true and was provided for. Am I able willing to keep trusting? Granted, I don't feel like I have lots of options at this point. So I'm waiting for that oil to keep pouring out, hoping that I have more jars to fill it with, and praying that the oil keeps flowing.

Summer...

is about believing
is about sunshine and basking in His glory
is about promises fulfilled
is about waiting on Him
is about friendship - old and new
is about time together
is about family
is about forging ahead into what continues to be the unknown

Summer is about believing.

New address

It's that time again. It seems that we move on a yearly basis. Our lease is up and we pack up and find somewhere new. The good part is that we condense all the time and work to keep what is ours not very much. It also helps us explore new parts of the cities we live in. The bad part is the packing. I'm not a huge fan. I know Cooper gets super stressed every time he sees boxes. Poor little guy. I'm looking forward to the day when we'll stay at a residence for longer than 12 months. Oh what a day that will be!

For those who care, the new address is:

5412 Sepulveda Blvd. #38

Sherman Oaks, CA 91411

Basically we're moving about 15 miles straight west of where we are now. It's much closer to where I teach and there are some new possibilities for work for Danny in that area as well. We're also looking forward to exploring Ventura Blvd. It's a pretty "happening" street that I can't wait to meander down and find new places to eat, hang out, and buy things at. Here's to more changes!

Forever changing

Summer's here. It's has brought many changes already and more are coming. A few weeks ago I was really struggling to trust God with our bills again. It's a common occurrence in my life, unfortunately. But we live in a city without stability and apparently I need to continue to learn that He is my only stability. He will supply for all my needs according to His riches and for His glory. That's never my timing. I hate that I get anxious when it doesn't look like things are going to work and that's definitely something I'm still working on. Nobody ever said faith was easy.

This week has been exciting though. We have been blessed with transportation. Thank you to Chelsea and to Michael for making that work. Without you, this door would not have opened. I had a very poignant conversation with a friend this month about transportation and the importance of it in the industry. We've been praying and praying and God paved the way. We're excited about the opportunities to come b/c of this, the ability to go separate ways and do separate jobs. Danny will be able to actually apply to jobs that he hasn't been able to apply to before. Again, this was completely and utterly God.

Opportunities have been coming as well. I have an app in with a private school for the fall. I hope to hear from them by end of the month. If that doesn't happen I'll continue what I'm doing now. I'm interviewing to nanny for the summer on Tuesday, which would be perfect so prayers are welcome! And I'm hoping to train the last week of June to sell educational products to families. That will be something I can do through the summer and then hopefully part time during the school year as well, which will very much help to offset the weeks of vacation time I won't get paid for.

Danny is talking to a friend about a company in Dallas that needs someone to do what he does (After Effects). We're really hoping this door opens and gives him a way out of Massage Envy. He's continually making contacts in the area and getting his feelers out. He's worked on 2 or 3 more government projects this year doing After Effects so he's building his reel to show other potential employers. He's also building two websites, one for photography and one for film. I'm incredibly proud of him and the hard work he's put in in the last few months.

I realized at church today that we've been married for almost 6 years. I have spent those years with my best friend, learning, growing, supporting one another, communicating, loving, traveling, being adventurous, and seeking God's heart. I'm so blessed by our marriage and so thankful to be living this journey with him.

And finally, we're moving across town to Sherman Oaks in two weeks. I'll be closer to work and there are some production companies Danny's hoping to apply with. We're looking forward to living on carpet again after a year of tile :). It's the simple things in life.

God has blessed us immensely this week, beyond our dreams. Trusting Him is so difficult and I'm not very good at it. Yet He provides and I'm humbled by His care and love for us. Danny's favorite saying right now is about moving with God. If we're standing still and God pushes us to go in a certain direction, we're going to fall b/c we're not ready. But if we're moving, keeping our feet active like a basketball player, He has a much easier time directing our course and guiding us where He needs us. It wouldn't be a faith walk if He told us everything ahead of time.

God's funny

I was just thinking yesterday about how I wanted to type but had nothing to update, nothing's really changed. Then God brought church. Oh church. I love our pastor and the way he brings the word straight from the Word. It's a rough one friends. I highly recommend you go here and listen to it once it's up, or download it on itunes and listen to it. Reality LA.

Community. Community is not an option. What I choose to do, or not to do, shows what I value.

When I come to church, I shouldn't be coming with a consumer attitude. Instead I need an attitude of what can I give? How can I serve these people? And this isn't just when I go to church.

Community is about a shared relationship. It's founded upon the Gospel. Deeper fellowship requires deeper theology. This doesn't mean bigger words that we don't understand. It means learning together and gaining a greater understanding of Him together. That is when we grow together and build community.

Shared Responsibility - if you're communicating something then you have to execute that thing. If you love your spouse you have to show your love to your spouse. You can't just speak words; actions must follow those words.

Sacrifice is a prerequisite for community and fellowship. Our human nature wants to fight against community because to be in community means it's no longer about me, I'm no longer number one. Being in community means laying down what my needs and my wants and putting others before me. Community is about serving and growing together, not about me.

If you react to the way people treat you without the power of the Gospel you WILL be wounded. Wounds bring bitterness when there's no healing. Within the church there are a LOT of wounded people. And then our human nature kicks in and says that since I'm wounded, I need to stay away. I'll just isolate myself. The only person you hurt when you isolate yourself and pull back from people is you. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill someone else. The church is not perfect. Just b/c someone goes to church does NOT make them perfect. There is no perfect church. But healing doesn't come with isolation, healing comes through serving the person/people who wounded you. Proverbs 18:1 paraphrase - you will get burned by people for the rest of your life no matter where you go. We have to learn how to heal instead of kill ourselves with bitterness.

If what you've given (service) has been trampled on and you're upset about it, think about Jesus' blood and the cross. Romans 13:8. Owe no man anything but LOVE. Are you ready to give and get nothing in return? That's true love. When we give and expect nothing. Not when we give and expect a text or phone or ANY response. That's called giving with interest. We can't give with interest. We will never be filled by humans. We will never be satisfied with what humans give us. Flesh is taking. Love is giving. So stop charging interest and expecting something in return. Join your love account with Jesus (joint checking) and use His debit card to give freely.

The Shared Reward is that our joy will be complete in community. There is no joy in isolation. Is community easy? No. But is it worth it? Definitely.

Those are the basics of the notes I took today. But don't take my word for it. Go hear it yourself. There are so many aspects of my life right now that needed to hear this sermon. I'm so blessed to be in a church where the pastor brings the Word. No fluff, just the word. Off to listen to some more in our doctrine and theology series. Excited:)

Small Group

We've been discussing prayer and last night was about Praise and Adoration. We discussed the difference between thanksgiving and adoration and I was reminded of Pastor Sam back at TGP. That man loves Jesus and it shows in the way he adores him on a Sunday morning during corporate worship.

We discussed Psalm 27 specifically. Vs. 1 says The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? So we were talking about fear. The fear of the unknown is something I've been learning specifically about so it went right along with that. I brought that up to the group and one of the guys mentioned about the that on Good Friday, when Jesus died on the cross, the disciples were afraid b/c they "had no idea what would happen next." The quotes are mine b/c Jesus told them over and over and over what was going to happen. He told them He'd die and come back, but it they didn't believe it. So here they're living in this fear of the unknown. But Joe brought up the point that we're living in the context of Sunday... Sunday's coming. We KNOW He's coming back to life. I hope that fills you with joy like it did me. Here I am living in the "unknown", having no idea what He's going to do in the coming weeks and months, but I can rejoice in the truth that "Sunday's coming."

Then Tim took it a step further, the step where we truly are today. The disciples were walking in this fear when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus returned for 40 days and then went to Heaven. When He left for Heaven, He gave us the Holy Spirit. Looking at the disciples, they never walked in that fear again. They had the Holy Spirit, Christ WITHIN them. No longer was it a matter of waiting on Sunday and being joyful about the promise that He was going to return. We now live in the truth that He is within us always. He doesn't tell us the exact plan for our lives but look at ALL the promises in His word. He loves us, He died for us, He cares about us, He gives us hope. He never promises that life will be easy or simple or comfortable but He promises that He will be with us always, to the end of the earth. How can I not walk in joy? So today, I choose joy despite the unknown. What I do know is Jesus and that's more than enough.

Don't be like Peter and focus on the water. Focus on the Savior and you can do all things through Him.

The Unknown

The last 2 Sunday's we've been at church have been pretty intense. I blogged about Brit Merrick being there and his discussion on Jesus being everything, not heaven. Selfishness seems to be a theme right now. This Sunday was similar in theme in that it was about Jesus. We're both working really hard at being disciplined to spend time in the Word every day. It's not easy b/c there are so many distractions. And yet I'm reminded so often that without Him, none of this other stuff (these distractions) means anything. It's a daily struggle still to lay down me and want more of Him. There's so much that I want in this world that really has nothing to do with Him, but it's human nature.

I'm reminded of the saying, "The Fear of the Unknown." I remember talking about how this would hold people back from doing things with their lives and would keep them complacent. When you live by faith there's no knowing what God's going to call you to. I feel like our whole lives are unknown at this point. We know we're where we're supposed to be and there is hope and peace in that. Beyond that, we know nothing. Jobs here are unstable. Work is unstable. Living is unstable. Friendships are all over the place. Life is not what I've ever experienced it as before. I know this is a theme, but I'm still getting used to it. I'm hoping to finally come to terms with it and just let it be, because ultimately there's nothing I can do about it.

All I really know is that I need Jesus more than ever before. He's doing something in the church, bringing us back to the cross, to what's important. It's not easy to let go of the things we were used to but it's necessary to get to the place He needs us to be as His people. As long as He's glorified, it's all worth it.